It depends on the person. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. He nearly killed you. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? But we started fighting more and more. 2Face. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. 1.) To think about the kids. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. I too got burned with the kid trap. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. She needs someone that truly loves her. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Not. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. Download Preview. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. "We are. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. We don't have to be together to love our children. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. Being in a lo. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. Does he still love me? the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. I don't know what to do. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. "All of the rational thoughts. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. To start? We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. No going back. We made it to 8yrs. He's not all bad. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. All rights reserved. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. No need to waste time your life and time on him. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. You should do what will make you happy. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. Ease into the conversation. Now it is tearing me apart. Good luck! THEN, MAYBE THEY BREAK UP CUZ THEY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. LoveDevani is an independent website. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. SAY IT AGAIN! Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? She bullied me into a wedding & now I am miserable. By Simon Maybin. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. Rightfully so! For more information, please see our know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? K lemme get one thing straight. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. I am at a loss as to what I must do. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. We are two total opposite people. We can and should celebrate those things while also giving our love and support to those who are struggling to get there, and to those who don't want any part of that scene, ever. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. First step: Don't rush things. But I don't feel the need to hold that up as a shield (though every time I see a movie where the childless woman is the villain I understand why my fellow non-parents doth protest too much . In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. He's controlling. May you both be happy and healthy. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. It might even be too late for you anyway. Most were married to . Americans love coffee. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? But I want to be a father. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. You can't force yourself to love him. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. Oh, I agree 100%. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? I need advice too. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. I was in the same boat. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. gals are expect dnt 4get. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. Are these issues still there? The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . Im in the exact same boat man. Why would you do that? THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. . Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. . Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. I hope everything works out for you. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. You've been clear with him from the start. They were always fighting. Would I do it again? The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. This is nuts. Has it ever gotten better. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. They hurt the most. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. Good luck. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? We found out. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. BE A MANam done. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault?
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